Anglo-Filles Episode 41: Porthos just wants to punch someone

Welcome to episode 41, where Les Filles tackle the immortal works of Alexandre Dumas (père) known as the D’Artagnan Romances and the various cinematic adaptations thereof. Prepare your sword, monsieur, for we are about to duel! (Is it weird that books whose title includes the word “musketeer” are mostly associated with rapiers and epees and not, you know, muskets?)

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The Russian 1978 film and its sequels are musicals. They are an amazing part of my childhood and just looking at the production stills for the briefly mentioned 2013 reboot makes me sad.

Here’s the theme song. The two non-musketeer characters seen briefly in the beginning are Captain de Tréville and King Louis. In that scene, their order is (left to right) Porthos, Athos, Aramis. During the actual song, the order (again, left to right) is Aramis, Athos, Porthos, and D’Artagnan.

Here’s a link to the playlist that contains all 3 parts (1.5-hours long each) with English subtitles.

Charlie Sheen was a musketeer, can you believe it? Here’s a still from the 1993 Disney version. (I’d link to the trailer, but it was on VHS. VHS, you guys, remember those?)


2001’s The Musketeers renamed Constance to Francesca. For what reason? That is a question that applies to that film as a whole.

None of the above quite compare to the crazy spectacle of the 2011 The Three Musketeers (3D!). Flame-thrower armed flying ships, how did we not get a sequel?

BBC’s The Musketeers dispenses with the plot and keeps the adventure. Good for them!

Having spent approximately an hour in my Tumblr likes, I cannot find a good gif of D’Artagnan’s “judging you” face, but it’s from season 2 episode 9 if you’re looking forward to seeing it. Have some gifs of Porthos being Porthos instead.

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4 Responses to Anglo-Filles Episode 41: Porthos just wants to punch someone

  1. Aoife

    My love for the 1970s Version with Michael York as d’Artagnan and Richard Chamberlain as Aramis is pure and true. It was the first Musketeer-movie I ever saw and I have rewatched it many many times.

    Also, the Russian 2013 Version isn’t bad. It’s a whole 10-part series that actually manages to include most of the book-plot, including my favourite part, where the four have breakfast during a siege and while being shot at by protestants. The scene is glorious. So glorious.
    (It also tries to make Athos’ actions slightly less reprehensible by turning Milady in a villain from the get-go. During their marriage she keeps drugging Athos so she can sneak out to meet with her lover).
    I think it’s still on Hulu and definitely worth checking out. Even though no villain is a Putin metaphor and nobody is singing. Also, it is pretty.

    (Also I feel I need to mention мушкетёры екатерины which to be fair has absolutely nothing to do with Dumas’ Musketeers but the intro is so very pretty.

    Oh and there was another BBC series in the 60s. With Jeremy Brett as d’Artagnan and Brian Blessed as Porthos (and yes Howard Charles is perfect and no Porthos will ever be as glorious as him but since he just couldn’t have been around for that version Blessed is also flawless as Porthos XD)

  2. Anna

    Wait wait you reviews the 3 musketeers including the two Russian versions (Smehov autographed my book I was in heaven) and you didn’t cover the cartoon ‘пёс в сапогах’ (dog in boots)? I pout!

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